Monday, August 27, 2012

Welcome to the Underworld

Greetings beleaguered earthlings.  I am the Queen of the Only Water Cooler in Hell, but you can call me Boss Lady.  I know, I know, my choice of titles are somewhat intimidating, but but allow me to assure you that I am here on a mission of good.

For over 25 years I have held various positions in both small private businesses and ginormous, monolithic corporate institutions.  It is my experience that operationally, there are many differences between the corporate and the private, the large and the small.  However, there are also things that they share.  For example, both of these business types provide employment to a  percentage of absolutely awful people. What do I mean by awful people?  Douche bag co-workers, asshole bosses, suck-ups, toadies, slackers, perverts and the criminally insane.  All of these people contribute to what may be the greatest commonalities across large and small businesses - ineptitude and glaring gaps in ethics.

As a heavily medaled veteran/survivor of assorted corporate crapholes, I have often felt the need for an impartial ear when I had an issue or disagreement with a coworker or manager.  But I have never felt like there was a safe place to turn to, regardless of the size of the company.  Coworkers will rat you out to get ahead, Human Resources is impotent and lame and if your boss is the problem, you are unlikely to find solace with his or her boss, as that's their decision you're complaining about and their egos generally don't take kindly to having their decisions questioned.

So where do you turn when you are swimming in a river of ineptitude so deep, you'll never touch bottom?  Hell, it's so deep that Shaq couldn't touch bottom on his tippy toes.  What are your bitching options when your coworker takes credit for your project?  And what about life outside the office?  Who can you tell when your supposed best friend sleeps with your boyfriend?  What if your husband is a cheap and controlling piece of shit who steps on the toilet paper roll to stop it from spinning freely so you don't use too much?  Who can you talk to about that?  Tell me, of course.  Tell your troubles to the  Boss Lady and her community of sympathetic listeners.

Want a glass of crisp, clear relief?  Send me your issue at .  The Water cooler will happily take your beefs and grief and present them to the community.  The purpose of this forum is to be anonymous, so it's up to you to change the names of people and places in your e-mail as we will publish whatever you write.  Naturally, we reserve the right to decline publication of your e-mail based on content and appropriateness.  (Wow, that sounded really corporate legal, didn't it? I may need a deprogramming.). 

Welcome to the your Water Cooler.  May your thirst be quenched.